Je suis un petite fromage
Another late-night post. I gotta stop going to the gym at 10pm. Anyway, I am officially getting rid of a bunch of my shizzle. DVDs, books, clothes, you name it. My eventual goal is to whittle down my crap until I can cram my entire life into a single car (sans the big furniture and appliances).
This is proving surprisingly difficult. I'm a packhound by nature, and while I don't really have a whole lot of stuff, I have a lot of useless crap. For example: about 15 empty spiral-bound notebooks, originally slated to be filled up, by me, with painstaking notes in lectures. They never realized their potential, since I never really took notes, other than drawing pictures of buttholes for Ned's benefit, and making lists of different words for poop (I think we eventually got up to 100, with a little "fudging" -- hehehehe). There is also the occasional page of "DIE REDHEADS DIE," which is an homage to some people in our classes that would ask stupid questions and force us all to cram 2 weeks' coursework into the last week of the quarter. Bitches!
As an aside, I think that could be considered a telling indictment of the UC system's ability to instill maturity and ambition into its students. Either that, or my own ability to be serious... but when one of your best professors is widely known among your circle of study mates as Quasimodo, it has a certain effect on your ability to consider the education process seriously.
Other useless crap:
- 2 old cell phones, which both still work, so I guess they're not completely useless.
- 1 empty can of compressed air, which is supposed to be used for cleaning debris and dust off of stuff. I like turning the can upside down and freezing things.
- Half a prescriptions' worth of 2-year-old Vicodin. I keep them around in case I want to polish them down real small, and fill up someone's Tic-Tac case with them. Just for kicks.
- 3 of those pink erasers. I haven't used a pencil since I took the LSAT, last year. In fact, I'm not even sure I know how to write anymore.
- About a billion computer connectors and cables in a giant duffel bag, left over from my days of uncontrollable techno-lust. Thankfully, I've either outgrown the habit, or I finally realized how much all that crap actually costs, and how little use it actually is. Think of it like a nerdy mid-life crisis. Instead of going out and buying a shiny red sports car, you spend a hellish amount of money on high-end computer parts that become obsolete in 3 months. The most glaring difference, probably, is that the geek method will get you absolutely zero props from the ladies. Me? My computer is roughly analogous to my car, which means it looks like ass, makes funny noises, and is in dire need of a good cleaning, but it gets the job done. I also get no props from women, but at least it's cheap.
- A cleaning kit for 9mm handguns. I don't own a gun.
- A hefty bag full of old receipts, bank statements, etc. Dating back all the way to freshman year of college. I swear, I could probably dig up a Ralph's receipt from 1997.
Okay, let me ask this question of the only person who reads this anymore.
Han, you know those giant fucking bugs that look like huge mosquitoes? I always thought they were "mosquito hawks," and ate mosquitoes, and were otherwise harmless. Ned said that they were horseflies, though, and bite like total bastards. I just slapped the shit out of one that flew too close to me, and I'm wondering if I should be worried about retribution. Get back to me on that one, buddy.
Roommate hunting, redux
Well, the search continues. My first choice needed to essentially drop out, so I am back to trawling Craigslist day in and day out, bumping my own post incessantly in an attempt to get people to come and check out the place. I've had a few people come by and look at the place, and none of them have made a negative impression on me, but I can't help but compare them unfavorably with the O.G. During my meeting with her, it seemed like we'd been friends for a while, even though we only met for about a half hour. A rare find in any set of circumstances, much less a potential roommate.
It strikes me that, given a roommate with whom I have no real rapport, this leaves me with little to keep me here, other than the good weather (which has been shitty lately), beaches (which I haven't been to in ages), and good memories (which are, when it comes down to it, just memories). Even so, I'm struck with the most curiously powerful apathy -- kind of like Altoids of the will, only in reverse -- whenever I try to get some friggin' work done, and I just end up going to the gym or playing solitaire.
Anyway. I got hooked on the show Deadwood, which airs on HBO and is currently into its second season. I picked up the first season DVD set for John as a going-away gift, and we've been watching it at the rate of a couple episodes a day. One of the best shows around; nearly every character is a total badass in his or her own way, and the show just keeps getting better.
Non sequitir: You ever have one of those days, where at the end of the day, you look back over the stretch of 16, or 18, or however many hours you've been conscious, and realize that your role in that particular patch of sunlight was of no consequence to any other living, breathing soul?
Yeah.
Bastards!
First, let me quote a few choice passages from a first-draft reality show pitch created August 9, 2003, by me and a couple friends.
Basic Premise:
The show will force a certain number of geeks and girls to consistently interact in a social setting....
In addition, we would have the cast members participate in periodic challenges or tasks in which they need to meet certain goals in order to gain a reward (perhaps spending money). These tasks would necessitate a crossover in cultures between the two groups, which is why casting is again a vital part of the show.
...
The show could be initially presented to potential cast members as a run-of-the-mill reality TV show with a romantic twist, which would make for some good first reaction shots when they meet their fellow cast members.
...
Challenges/Tasks:
The cast members will need to complete certain challenges/tasks in order to gain a reward (possibly spending money). These tasks will occur periodically, potentially once per week, and will alternate in type. There will be two types of tasks, explained below:...
II: Girl task:
A possible example for this would be the girls teaching the ?geeks? to dance at a club. All the ?geeks? would need to participate, and at the end of the week they would be obliged to dance at a club, perhaps in a competition of some kind.
This document was forwarded to a friend soon after, who pitched the idea to a suit at Fox. Nothing really came of it, and we figured it for a bust. We thought it'd be a laugh to see the show on the air, but hey, life goes on, right?
Now, let me quote a few choice passages from the website marketing blurb for the hot new WB reality show, "Beauty and the Geek."
It all starts with seven women who are academically impaired. Next, add seven men who are brilliant but socially challenged.
...
Each mismatched pair competes in various activities designed to test intellect, fashion savvy and even dance moves. There's a spelling bee for the girls, massage lessons for the guys, and an introduction to actual rocket science when the girls compete to see who can build a working rocket.
...
During these competitions, the geek must try to pass his brains onto the beauty, while the beauty tries to pull the game out of the geek. They're so far apart on the social spectrum that they're practically different species, but if they make it to the end, they could both walk away gifted and gorgeous.
"BUT YENEMY T3H SHOW IZ MADE BY WB NOT FOX U ST00P1D FACE," you might be thinking. Let me refer you to a quote from this web site.
The news [of the show's creation] coincides with Katalyst's recent signing of a two-year overall development and production deal with 20th Century Fox Television. The pact calls for 20th's spin-off Fox 21 to work with the company to produce several low-cost scripted and reality series, including [Beauty and the Geek].
Let the mini-conspiracy theories abound!
I watched the series premiere tonight. Bastards. It was pretty funny, even though it seemed very scripted and geared to the producer's preferences (that girl with the budding romance got stacked with easy questions at the end).