jeff yen

The end of an era

Well, John's pretty much all moved out. It's weird. After about 6 years of living in the same space as each other, we developed an interesting friendship. We pretty much exhausted all topics of idle conversation a while ago, so there usually existed between us an easy silence. He'd be doing his own thing, I'd be doing mine, and we just happened to do these things in the same apartment. Neither of us are confrontational people, and neither of us have super freaky habits -- unless you count John's rampant turd-eating, and my habit of dying my skin yellow and making my eyes all slanty -- so there wasn't any tension. In fact, I can remember a few weekends where we hardly exchanged more than a handful of words. I don't know about John, but for me, it wasn't anything *bad*... it was just that there was nothing pressing that needed saying, and that was fine.

Like I said, an interesting friendship. With most people, I feel a need to at least try to make idle chatter, which usually leads to me making stupid comments, and annoying everyone around me. With my closest friends and acquaintances, I find that I can comfortably indulge my natural tendency to just lean back and not say anything, unless I feel there's something interesting to be said or talked about. It was a good run; despite the mail addressed to us as if we were a married couple, and all that stuff, it was a fun time. John, you can be my wingman anyday! (salute)

So now, it's weird as shit. Coming back to the apartment, it feels... cavernous. There have been many weekends where John's been gone doing whatever, and I've been here alone, but this is different. It's like every sound is magnified slightly by the empty space that used to be his room. I suppose chaos physics theory would say that they probably, in fact, are, since his furniture is all gone, so the sounds echo around in the room a little, but that would be a hell of a geeky thing to say.

But, yeah. It's just as quiet as it used to be, no more or less, but it's different. It's like trying on an old pair of leather gloves, that have been soaked in the blood of a murdered loved one. They used to fit perfectly, but now the fit is just... off. Who can tell whether it's because the blood shrank the gloves, or it's the latex gloves you're wearing underneath them, or what? Either way, you're going to end up playing golf in Florida for the rest of your life, dodging the Paparazzi.

At any rate, now I'm (still) searching for a new roommate. This is a fucking pain in my ass, too. I mean, it's awkward, since I'm meeting people I don't know (though by and large, everyone I've met is cool), and it feels like I'm simultaneously giving a job interview and receiving one. Throw in a little dash of a blind date, and you've got it down. Now include the fact that the other person is just as likely to be a guy as a girl, and there's your final "weird" factor. It's really only the first 10 seconds or so that are awkward, then I give the apartment spiel, and we settle down to a little chat. No sweat. But then, the waiting game. People are always looking at a bunch of places, so I need to give them time to decide; then, they know that I have a bunch of people coming by, so there's weirdness on their end, and... well, it usually ends up like this.

1) E-mail dialogue in response to my "roommate wanted" ad.
2) Face-to-face meeting.
3) Nothing.

I don't know whether I should be e-mailing them a follow-up, or they should be calling me, or what. I've gotten to the point where I just want someone I can get along with to just move in already. I'm tired of stretching my face into a smile when I greet strangers at the door. To be honest, though, I think it'd be entertaining to live with a girl for a change. If nothing else, it would encourage me to continue my new practice of wearing pants.

It's surprising, too, how many of my respondents seem to be female. Something like 80% of the respondents to the newest ad have multiple X chromosomes... possibly more, if I've managed to meet a Kleinfelter's in the past week. Take a look at my ad and tell me whether there are any cues that would attract females specifically; I'm baffled.