Rümates
Well, I had a guy on the line to take the third room in a 3-bedroom apartment I'm trying to fill by this Saturday, but he dropped out. His most stand-out characteristic would be his last name: Butscheck. Apparently this isn't an entirely uncommon name for Germanic people. I told my friend that a potential roommate of mine probably had a lot of Butschecks in his past.
That was probably the most clever, urbane thing I've said in about 3 weeks. I can almost feel my wit shriveling up into a little dry brown nugget, like a Tater Tot forgotten in the fryer.
Mmm... tater tots.
Also, a piece of advice: Do NOT buy Jack-in-the-Box's root beer float. It looked good in the promo poster, and I was craving a root beer float, so I walked in. $1.99 + tax later, I was the proud owner of a plastic cup full of runny ass juice.
When I asked if I could have a root beer float instead of a glass of diarrhea, they threw me to the ground and injected me with e. coli.
Not really. But yeah... stick to the chicken sandwiches.