Even surplus to the fact that the State of the Union address is going on as I write this, I seem to be beset on all sides lately by unsurpassed examples of irony.
Consider the following, a post on Craigslist. The person was offering his or her services for writing academic papers. The title of choice, issued from the pen of this literary giant?
"can type for u any papers"
The body of the post, in its entirety:
"hi, please email me at [e-mail address] with number price can be negioble"
Staggering.
I suppose technically, he only offered to "type" the papers, so it is possible that those people who still write their papers out longhand might want to avail themselves of his services.
Another example, this one from the inexhaustible low-key entertainment offered by my "office," being a cosy neighborhood yupster cafe:
I am working away at trying to drum up some contracts with which to pay my rent, when through the front door walks the very picture of anti-establishmentarianism.
He is in his late teens or early twenties, a dark ball of angst wrapped in an army surplus jacket. A generously pierced face is framed by a stringy goatee and halfhearted dreadlocks. His jacket, along with the skateboard under his arm, is plastered with an impressive array of stickers and buttons such as one might find at Hot Topic... pieces of flair for today's goth/grunge youth on the go. In short, this is a man going to great lengths to demonstrate his lupine individuality to the rest of us sheep.
With a jaundiced eye for we of the contemptible conformity, he stoops his way to the counter. I fervently hope he will pump a fist and belt out a string of nihilist slogans, and then retreat in triumph, having thus enriched my day. Sadly, such entertainment is not in the offing. Instead, he disappoints me by ordering a $4.00 mocha.
After I was done making fun of him to some Korean guy, I started thinking about the various ways people assert their individuality. Being such a treasured value in American society, I find it is somewhat at odds with the human tendency -- being pack animals in large part -- to glom together in definable groups. Likewise, this aspect of our nature leads us to separate the rest of humanity into easily distinguished categories.
I heard somewhere that humans naturally are attuned to communities much smaller than those in which most of us now live. We evolved to operate in tightly knit groups of a few hundred or less, which explains why we are so fixated on celebrities. They are those few individuals with whom everyone is acquainted; thus, they comprise that small community that serves to unite the rest of us.
Interestingly, this sub-compartmentalization of the human race, if it is indeed an inevitability of our nature, might simply mean that we are doomed to constant conflict. Coupled (ahem) with our unceasing biological drive to breed, this produces two opposing instincts: The first, to procreate as often and successfully as possible; the second, to abhor the existence of other, distinct human groups, as that might threaten the success of "our" future generations.
Seeing as we are granted -- I hope -- with intelligence and reason enough to govern our latent instincts, we might yet manage to pull through. For my part, I enjoy mocking what I don't understand, so count me among the doomed.
As history has shown, nothing unites people better than a common enemy -- even if that enemy is us.
Wow... that took a weird turn.
Interesting tidbit:
There is scientific evidence showing that the contours specific to a baby's smiling face trigger the release of endorphins in the female brain. I think everyone knew this already, given the cooing insensibility to which every woman within range of a gurgling child is reduced.
Less well-known, perhaps, is the scientific evidence suggesting that the emotions associated with righteous anger and condemnation produce the same effect in men.
Summary for Creationists: Happy babies and pissed-off men pleaseth Him.